He received a blushing crow, when he was told to take the next town drain as he had hissed his mystery lessons. He realized that he had just tasted a worm. When he gave his reasons he was told to keep his lack of pies to himself. And when his best friend, always ready as a stock also refused to tease his ears he had no option left but to pick up his well boiled icicle and go off to find a nosy little cook with a half warmed fish to hum a bad salad.
I haven’t gone crazy, folks! I have just discovered the delightful world of spoonerism!
A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels are switched. We owe this source of hilarious insanity to the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency.
The starting paragraph untangles as follows:
“He received a crushing blow, when he was told to take the next down train as he had missed his history lessons. He realized that he had just wasted a term. When he gave his reasons he was told to keep his pack of lies to himself. And when his best friend, always steady as a rock also refused to ease his tears he had no option left but to pick up his well oiled bicycle and go off to find a cosy little nook with a half formed wish to hum a sad ballad.
The “dear old queen” can become the “queer old dean” and the glowing bride can lose all her gaiety when she hears “Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" instead of “Is it customary to kiss the bride”. Note, that cuss means curse!!
And the pun fart...oops I meant the fun part doesn’t end here! You can create your own spoonerisms and add to this collection. Also you can try figuring out some spoonerisms for fun (including the title of this blog!!)!!
Now since I have to mend some sails, and spoon some more, I’ll say eye ball!!
